Mowgli's Road

by - 1:40 PM

I don't have a High School graduation picture. At the time I remember looking back and thinking, "Why bother showing up to graduation?" I was ready to work, I was ready for college. I HATED high school. Don't get me wrong, I loved my teen years I just hated how bleek it was. I felt like such an IDLE teen. I was ready to dictate my own life. Start off with a glorious blank canvas and make choices, discover, travel and have fun.

When people say, "I miss high school." I want to barf. It was fun, but probably the most mundane task I have ever been put through in my entire life.

Then I started college! I started college as an eccentric, atheist with little to no regards toward anything. I used to make rant videos online about recording Artists I thought were stupid, like Taylor Swift. (I've gotta say, she is even more repulsive and generic to me now than she was then). I was just broadcasting my crazy videos, making new friends, drawing, learning instruments and being a kid! I never expected to meet a darling little Mormon Boy that would change my life. I remember walking out of class thinking, "He's so sweet...but he's mormon. Ewwww." To imagine how devastating and lame my life would be had I rejected him based on his beliefs...

Fast forward a few years, I was a wife! I have said it before and I will continue to say it, Graham is the single most purest, honest and beautiful soul I could even hope to meet in life. I never cared that my progressive ideals clashed with his beliefs because his light was far to bright to reject. I didn't fit in, and i didn't care. It's kind of funny, people always tell me..."When do I get my Graham?" I've never really met someone that doesn't like him. Although a lot of people make fun of him for being white and nerdy. But the richest man in the world is white and nerdy, so it can't be all bad. I am attracted to pale, skinny and blue eyed men. I never wanted anything else. (:

I remember crying to my mom when I told her I didn't want to Major in Architectural Engineering because it was so strenuous and I wasn't happy. I remember feel like a failure and her laughing because thought it was the dumbest thing to be sad about. Like,"Ohhh, mom I don't want to be an Engineer anymore...I want to be an Investment banker. We laughed it off.

Now, I'm a mixture of everything I've ever been. I left the Mormon church (2.5 years ago), but I love Mormons and think they are absolutely amazing. I suppose I am agnostic. I don't really know. I don't know anything, thats why I need to learn and see. I'm still eccentric and I have my conservative values. I still don't want kids, but I am open to having some later on. Not Democrat or Republican, just libertarian. Socially tolerant and fiscally responsible. The best thing about life is discovery. To admit you have left behind choices you made in the past only means you are wiser. In this moment I'm the wisest and dumbest I will ever be. That's awesome. But I never want to have it all "figured out". If I have it all "figured out" there is no room to grow. I don't want that. I enjoy thriving!!!!!!!!!

and I have deeply enjoyed my early twenties!

I had three goals: 
1. Don't drink until you graduate college.
2. Don't have kids. 
3. Don't get married.

Those were my goals for my 20's I am barely starting to be ok with the idea of having kids, but I just want to stock pile resources and enjoy being young, wild and free. I really glad I didn't drink in my early 20s because that would have been stupid. (for me) I enjoy it as an adult and it's more of a social thing. Getting married, yep! I screwed up! I got married...but I wasn't expecting to meet my soul mate in college. Which I truly know he is. We have been told we are one giant soul and brain. 

So, I didn't show up to college graduation. Because in typical Crissy fashion, I really didn't give a shit. But if I could sum up my college years in one song it would be: 

Cuckoo (cuckoo)
Cuckoo (cuckoo)
Cuckoo (cuckoo)
Cuckoo (cuckoo)

Ten silver spoons coming after me,
One life with one dream on repeat.
I'll escape if I try hard enough,
'Til King of the Jungle calls my bluff

Oh Lord (Oh Lord)
I have been told (I have been told)
That I must take the unforsaken road (forsaken road)
There's a fork in the road
I'll do as I am told
And I don't know, don't know, don't know, don't know
Who-oo-oo-oo-ooo I want to be

Cuckoo (cuckoo)
Cuckoo (cuckoo)
Cuckoo (cuckoo, cuckoo)

You say Y-E-S to everything
Will that guarantee you a win?
Do you think you will be good enough
To love others and to be loved?

Oh Lord (Oh Lord),
Now I can see (now I can see)
The cutlery will keep on chasing me (forsaken road)
There's a fork in the road
I'll do as I am told
And I don't know, don't know, don't know, don't know
Who-oo-oo-oo-ooo I want to be.

We are the spoons metally mean.
We scooped our way into your dreams
To knock the knives out bloody cold.
And lead you down the unforsaken road.


(Forsaken road)
There's a fork in the road (road)
I'll do as I am told
And I don't know, don't know, don't know, don't know
Who-oo-oo-oo-ooo I want to be.


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